The Adventures of Chipped Ham Sam

Here we go yinz...here we go

2009-01-30T14:54:00.002-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os4HlTBLuKs

Road to Super Bowl XLIII flanked by 43 strip clubs

2009-01-27T21:30:00.002-05:00

Well, Sam was not quite certain if he was going to make the trek to Tampa from Miami to see his beloved Stillers, but he learned some news today that made the decision inevitable. Apparently, Tampa has something more to offer than just giant margaritas at the airport Chili's!

Road to Super Bowl XLIII flanked by 43 strip clubs

By MITCH STACY |The Associated Press

January 27, 2009

TAMPA - There's Lip Stixx and Centerfolds and the Bliss Cabaret.

There's Diamond Dolls and Bare Assets and the Wild Gentlemen's Club.

In fact, there are, by one count, 43 strip clubs in the Tampa metropolitan area — one for each Super Bowl. And the week of Super Bowl XLIII is to Tampa's naughty nightlife what Black Friday is to America's shopping malls.

All the exotic dancing joints have earned Tampa a bawdy reputation — the lads' magazine Maxim even put it on its top 10 list of best U.S. party cities a couple years ago, based mostly on the dozens of night spots to see naked or nearly naked women.

Here Sam Goes

2009-01-19T23:01:00.003-05:00

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Sam can hardly contain himself. Both from the fact that he was able to gorge himself on an authentic Pittsburgh feast of homemade pierogies, kielbasa, pepperoni rolls and a 40 of Natty Ice and also because PITTSBURGH'S GOIN' TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!

Though inebriated, Sam was also resourceful, wheeling and dealing his way to Tampa for the big dance. He immediately called his friend with the Washington Redskins bartering unlimited lap dances in the the stripper capital of the US (i.e., Tampa) in exchange for a face value ticket. While the deal is still on the table, upper level tickets are going for about $800 so yinzer gonna have to do some more scheming to watch the game in person!

Livin on the Edge

2008-10-17T10:25:00.004-04:00

Sam's really been pushing his luck lately. Things are going pretty well at the job, but more money means more problems... and in Sam's case, more IC Lights. He often stumbles home and mistakes the family dog for an appropriate resting place, which is starting to get irritating to everyone. But who can stay mad at Sam? Especially when he passes out on you during his apology.

In the mouth of the beast

2008-10-09T20:17:00.002-04:00

Sam is excited that he's going to be one lovely lady's date to a Keys wedding in a few months. He heard the fishing is good there, but he got in a little over his head when practicing catching hammerheads in order to impress her.

Oh , Sam!

2008-10-09T19:49:00.007-04:00

Sam is enjoying the Bye week a little too much....

Sam: Will work for IC Light

2008-10-09T16:12:00.006-04:00

Sam was tired of the No habla ingles in Miami, and heard there was a couch open in Palllllllm Beeeeeeeach. There was only one rule, he had to intern at his friend's job 2 hrs a week. Sam's not used to working too hard, and even contemplated hopping the Tri-Rail back to Pittsburgh... Little did he know, his new boss had a Steeler's Shrine complete with Ben's BBQ Sauce and The Bus's IC Light. After workin for the man, they went dahn City Place to have sum irennns.

Steelers beat the fake Browns

2008-09-30T07:25:00.003-04:00

Sam is so excited the Steelers beat the Ravens, but overtime on a school night is overrated. He is wishing he was Jewish so he had the day off work today!

Oh what a feelin'

2008-09-28T11:56:00.003-04:00

Sam's weekend was a little freed up thanks to his team playing in the main event on Monday, so he decided to head out in search of a Steel Town Girl on a Saturday night. Sam was a little out of his element at Scarlett's...that crazy parade of whores was a whole lot different than how the exotic dancer profession was portrayed in Flashdance!

The Yinz Take on the Yous

2008-09-23T00:07:00.005-04:00

Sam is hiding from the fact that the Steelers lost to the cross-state rival Eagles. Sam is taking comfort in the fact that some poll recently said Philly has the worst looking people of any city in the country. Not only are Eagles fans assholes, they are unattractive assholes.

2008-09-20T10:11:00.004-04:00

Sam cheers on the Mountaineers

2008-09-20T10:05:00.003-04:00

Although Sam has only completed half a semester at ITT Tech, he still supports college and, more importantly, college sports. While he should in theory be a Pitt fan, he's learned in his short time in South Florida that people who have lived here for any extended period of time can not be trusted, so he is rethinking being a fan of Dave Wandstat. Instead, he's supporting the West Virginia Mountaineers for a while. He heard they like to burn couches there, and Sam finds that very appealing.

Stillers head to the Dawg House

2008-09-19T00:59:00.003-04:00

Everyone knows Cleveland is the complete opposite of paradise, especially Sam. While he was dreaming of being at Hi Tops watching his beloved Steelers crush the Browns, he had to suffice with a non-flat screen TV in the heart of SoBe. Here we go Steelers, here we go!

Take Your Sam To Work Day

2008-09-15T14:43:00.003-04:00

After seeing that Sam can't be left home alone without drinking every bottle of wine in the apartment, I decided that I could use some help at the office and Sam could use a little lesson in responsibility. Although cutoff shorts and a half-shirt were a welcome addition to the workday, I figured Sam won't have much of a future as my intern answering the phone with, "jeez oh man!"

Sam Has a Case of the Mondays

2008-09-15T14:37:00.003-04:00

I come home from another long Monday at the office only to find Sam passed out on the dining room table. What he was doing with my necklace, I will never know.

Sam's Neverending Hangover

2008-09-15T14:17:00.003-04:00

I woke up on Sunday morning to find Sam reenacting "The Neverending Story." Oh, Sam...

Welcome to Miami

2008-09-13T21:24:00.004-04:00

"Hausecoms yinz ain't watchin' the game?"

Sam celebrated his first weekend in South Florida watching college football at Quarterdeck in South Beach. Lesson learned - never underestimate Sam's affect on the ladies. In the city ranked #1 for the most attractive people in the nation, he put on his best game and quickly charmed a group of lovely ladies tired of the typical Miami dbag. Before we knew it, they snatched up Sam and took him to Mr. Moe's in Coconut Grove to watch the UM vs. UF game. Sam shared a few beers with the college kids and yada yada, wound up on the back of a Great Dane the size of a horse by the end of the night. Typical Saturday night in the MIA.